For a lark, "Paglee" written by Ravikiran "Chots" Shastry, was submitted by yours truly. Surprise of surprises it was awarded a Consolation Prize! I was informed that a "glittering" function would soon be held. Now, at a level, I was thrilled - for Rabindra Bhawan,
where the Akademi is housed in New Delhi's Mandi House, was my breeding ground for my 'education' in theatre, since, till recently, the National School of Drama was also operating from the same premises.
So...
Then came a letter [just in time to beat the financial year ending deadline, no doubt :-)] that it was being held in the Akademi's Conference Room (2nd floor) in BOMBAY!!
Now what follows is pathetically hilarious!
The Bombay Chapter of India's sole Literary Apex body is housed in one of the dingiest habitat ever!
Wait, there is more...!
On arrival, we discovered that the ceromony was to be held in the basement!! There was no body to receive the guests, and though it was the scheduled time, sloppy workers were still trying to 'pin' banners (of the lowliest variety, I might add!
.
In the dingy excuse of the basement, all and sundry were doing there thing. After a while, as the local dhaba chokra poured out styrofoam cups (only a quarter full, mind you, since such were his instructions!) of lukewarm tea, you partook of the 'refreshments' soaking the samosas in water thin chutney.
Then, as abruptly, the ceremony began. There were barely thirty forty people at the function!!
Speaking in a mike which none could hear, Shri A.J.Thomas, Editor of the Akademi's Enhlish Journal said something which none could decipher. After ten minutes of droning, the Chief Guest and the Award presentation Guest spoke. Subsequently, the award ceromony was quickly gone through.
Then, after his speech, Sh.K.S.Rao, Regional Secretary, somewhat reluctantly called on the winners to say something; "but ONLY for two minutes!" he admonished.
Phew! And then as unceromoniously, it was over.
ONE question intrigued me throughout: Why wasn't it held in New Delhi?
ANSWER: "Bhai, then you'll have to pay these 'winners' train fare and boarding expense!! Instead, let us fly to Bombay and have a paid holiday in Bombay!! After all, what better way to exhaust the sanctioned funds for the current financial year!!'
- And then they went home, happily ever after.
WAIT, WAIT!!
There is more!! (How could I forget?)
Somewhere in the midst of the proceedings, an oily clerk sidled up to me and gave a BLANK travel voucher to sign "where the x-es are," he whispered. As quietly, I did as ordered - [we had been assured that the admissible local travelling fare would indeed be forthcoming, after all.] Then, slipping me an equally blank envelope, he started to slither away. But I was faster. Grabbing the back loop of his trousers, I pulled him back and hissed, "You have made me sign a blank form! Fill in the amount, you rascal!!" "Okay, okay, you do it yourself."he mumbled. "How much?" "Rs.250." "HOW MUCH?" I was aghast! "You think I came by bus, or what?" "Heh, heh!" he triumphantly informed, "But that is what has been sanctioned, you see!" "Give me back that voucher!" I growled. "Wait, wait," he stammered, "Why don't you talk to my boss?" "GIVE ME BACK THAT VOUCHER!" I snarled. Quaking, he returned the document, which, with immense relish, I tore into four pieces, right in his face.
P.S. - I hasten to assure my dear readers that none of this disturbed the proceedings!!
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